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 We The People -- Rey || Post in the forum
n this day and age we as Digital Citizens of the Internet find that our rights are slowly being taken away. Wouldn't it be nice to have some rights guarunteed by our own lil document. YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT WOULD! So I have taken it upon myself to right the first Internet Constitution ever. Enjoy.
We the Digital Citizens of the IntraWeb, In order to form a more perfect union. Establish l33tness. Insure Domain names that are nifty and not being squatted on by greedy corporate bastards. Provide Witty articles to be read at the users leisure. Promote P2P file sharing and secure the blessings of free porn for ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this constitution for the World Wide Web.
Article 1- Shortin the document for posterity
Knowing the majority of the people who read this and the history classes will go no farther than this and the Bill of Rights I have made it so that even those with short attention spans will be able to know all their internet rights so lets get to em!
Bill of Rights
Amendment I- No Congress/Government/form of legal entity of ANY nation shall be able to make any law preventing, prohibiting, stopping or screwing with the practice of Parody or Humor. All lawsuits brought against humor shall be treated as toilet paper and used to wipe the ass of whoever the lawsuit is againt. Stating this all lawsuits pertaining to this should be printed on 2-ply toilet paper and come in rolls of 100 sheets (no more, no less)
Amendment 2
A well informed public, being neccesery for any heated political discussion, the right of the people to know what the hell its all about. Shall not be infringed
Amendment III
No Corporate company, organization, form of government. At any time be allowed to look in anyone elses computer without the consent of the Owner. Unless the Owner happens to be a pedophile..then by all means look away...sick bastards...
Amendment IV
The right of the people to be secure in their personal computers, Laptops, Minifridges and PDAs against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause IE: The person being searched is a pedophile then by all means go for it.
Amendment V
No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases where that person is once again a pedophile. Also no REAL hacker can be held responsible for the lack of security of any person or institute in which they break into. Unless they are stealing child porn then nab them.
Amendment VI
In all criminal prosecutions (assuming the party charged is a pedophile), the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by partial Christian Conservative jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed.
Amendment VII
Any Hacker who claims they are a real hacker and claim that they will mail bomb you and do not make good on their claim within the first ten minutes the aforementioned threat was issued shall give up all right/titles/claims to the word hacker and be asked kindly to fuck off and told to stick a a large cumbersome object up their ass.
Amendment VIII
Excessive whining made by anyone on any forum, where the user has neglected to read the terms of service and/or FAQ. Shall be grounds for immediate flaming. Among the users continued whining they shall be asked to shove a large cumbersome object up their ass.
Amendment IX
Pedophiles and whiney AOL users who claim to be hackers are not wanted on the internet and forfeit any and all Rights given to them by the constitution except for ones that specifically mention them and the ones that tell them to shove a large cumbersome object up their aformentioned ass.
Amendment X
All men/women are entitled to Porn featuring naked participants 18 years or older. This is the greatest right that can be given to any user of the internet and shall not be infringed.
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