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Wednesday, May 28, 2003

Electronic Mayhem, Electrocute Me -- Chris || Post in the forum

I've pulled yet another one of those, "Don't update for about a month" things just like I have been doing for the past nine months. No, I'm not pregnant you morons, it just happened to be about nine months. During this time, I haven't had much luck with electronics. Specifically stereo systems. Whether they just break and stop working, or they begin making funny noises like "BOMB IRAN!" or "54 40' OR FIGHT!". It's rather amusing. I didn't know electronics can talk like that, but apparently in my place of living, they can, and do it quite frequently.

Many of us might be in the same boat. I say "Maybe" because some of you might dish out a good amount of money for a good stereo receiver and have it work for more than 7 months, where as I, Chris, purchase a nice Pioneer receiver, use it for about 7 months, and then have one of the main components break on me. It would be a lot different if the damn thing were a year or two old, but 7 months? That's a load of garbage. I could buy a loaf of bread and have it stay good for more than 7 months in my freezer.

Sure, even one receiver breaking isn't that bad. I'm sure we've all had a component or two break on us. But not me. No. Over the past 4 years I've went through not one, not two, not three, but FOUR stereo systems. The first two were cheaper models, so I brought them upon myself. The other two, however, were higher-end models. Allow me to explain the injustices.

NUMBER ONE: SONY BOOMBOX

I was too lazy to dust it off before taking the picture. Maybe the dust killed it.

One of the two cheaper models of my "collection of broken pieces of shit that I should sell on eBay to some poor moron who will actually buy it". I purchased this one about four years ago and didn't really need or want a really good system. As long as it played my gay Backstreet Boys music, it was fine. After about a year of use, one of the speakers just stopped working. No fat ass sat on the speaker, it wasn't placed in a pool of acid, it wasn't run over by a car, it simply was the Speaker Fairy at work. A year of use out of something that was about 50 or 60 dollars isn't that bad, I suppose. It only gets worse as time goes on, however. A few weeks after that I dropped the system while picking it up, and thus why there is a rather large "chip" on the top of the plastic unit where you can see the "guts" of the receiver portion. If it stopped working after that, I wouldn't be as mad. of course, too little too late.

NUMBER TWO: PIECE OF SHIT BRAND
I don't even remember what brand of shelf system this was. All I know is that it sucked. It cost me about 120 dollars, not that bad for the price. This time it actually had a CD player that I could play my gay Backstreet Boys music in. Again, the Speaker Fairy got to one of the speakers and made one stop working. This time I played the roll of the Speaker Fairy, however, and made the speaker wire have a "close encounter" with a power strip. Let's just say AC power going into a speaker from the electrical socket isn't a good thing. It makes a loud noise, however.

NUMBER THREE: PANNASONIC

I voided my warrantee by opening this system up. Just don't tell anyone.

Finally a good stereo system that had good sound, a nice pseudo equalizer, and a five CD changer. Costing about 200 dollars, it was a "gamble" for someone like me who doesn't make a billion dollars a year from suing people for making me feel bad or hurt my feelings. This lasted me about a year and a half and made me rather happy, and probably made the neighbors rather mad. Although it would have been a lot better had it lasted two years, or maybe until I die, but you can't always get what you want. It finally "broke" after the headphone jack got screwed up and would not enable the speakers to function properly. I guess if I really wanted to I could always pay 200 dollars for a really good pair of head phones and use those instead. With my luck, those would fall apart one day from the "intense heat" of my room.

NUMBER FOUR: PIONEER

This receiver is gay. Nothing more needs to be said.

By far the most expensive stereo system that I have purchased to date, and by far the best sounding one. I say this because it still works, and I am still listening to it right now. The receiver portion alone cost nearly 200 dollars, again being a gamble for such a low income person as myself. After only 7 months of use, the headphone jack crapped out and now only one headphone works whenever you plug them in to listen to them. At first I thought I went deaf in my left ear, but after trying a few different adapters and a few different sets of headphones, I realized that it was the receive itself that was "deaf", or in this case "semi-mute". Talk about a load of crap. Why didn't the guys at Pioneer just take a crap in a box and put a Guarantee on the box? I'll tell you why, because they're not Chris Farley. Apparently the makers of these systems seem to think that no one ever uses headphones anymore and decides to make the connectors out of some plastic that they stole from Iraq and molded it into something that looks like a headphone jack.

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