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 The Great Mother's Day Snake Attack of 2003 -- TheJudge || Post in the forum
Here's a little story I wanted to share with you. I decided to call my great grand mother to wish her a great mother’s day. My girlfriend was lying in bed with a headache, and Charlie, my dog, was keeping her company. Of course, Charlie got bored pretty fast. After a good 5 minutes of sitting around he couldn’t take it anymore so he found something to bark at.
I was just about to leave when my girlfriend came out running and screaming like a maniac. I decided I should see what she and the dog were disturbed by, in an attempt to shut them both up. I peak out the window and to my surprise, I see a large snake making its way across our driveway. The hell with great grandma! I wanna go poke that snake with a stick!
Before I continue, I need to explain something. When I grew up, my brothers used to look for rattle snakes in the grass and in sewers and stuff. They would stick them on a long BBQ fork and throw them at people just to freak them out. Often being on the receiving end of their ventures, I was not afraid of a damn snake! My girlfriend on the other hand doesn't like snakes and doesn’t want snakes. Which I suppose is a good thing, since it would probably try to eat the guinea pig. Having pets that are direct links on the food chain is never a good idea. So here I am with the neighbour trying to identify the snake: Flat, triangular head, gold and brown markings. Yup, that looks like a nasty snake to me. Don’t know much about them except that they make great projectiles. So here I am in a residential neighbourhood habited by young couples with small children and/or small dogs. And we have a potentially venomous snake prowling around. And I’m trying to BBQ it.
I finally managed to fork it, confirming that it was not venomous in the process. The damn thing bit me three times and I didn’t even feel dizzy! In the end, we decided to take the country boy approach to things: I don't understand it, so I'm gonna shoot it! Lemme get ma riffle! Well, it’s actually a 12 gauge that I own, but I assure you it did the trick!
Ever tried clay shooting? Ever tried replacing the clay disk with a live snake? No? Same here. I wanted to. Badly. But the girlfriend insisted that it wouldn’t be safe with all the kids running around and stuff. Stupid kids.
So how does it all end? Well, let’s just say it involved a few shot from the 12 gauge, a blender, plenty of liquor, a big container, and a cool storage spot. Oh, and I may have accidentally shot the dog in the process. But if you’d like to know more, please do come over. I’ve got the perfect drink waiting for you…
This was based on true events told by Cameron of Kansas City MO.
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