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Stupid Questions: Volume 3
Yet again our forum members share questions that they must suffer though while at work, home, or while out and about.
Cars, Cars, CARS!
Written by Chris
Aug 02, 2005 at 09:55 PM
Before I go into a big discussion about cars and just how crazy they are, I'd just like to say how very sorry I am for yesterday's bizarre post from
. If you feel the need to get mad at someone because you didn't find any nude pictures of Carmen Electra here or any upside down diamond action, please feel free to
and tell him just how mad you are at him for wasting your precious time while on the clock.
I never drive this. I don't even know how to drive a manual. Where'd I park my van?
Now back to cars. Yea... cars. Cars truly are a great invention to mankind. It's almost as good as the wheel since it's pretty much based on the concept of there being something round to make it move from point A to point B. Without the car, how would you be reading this right now? Sure, you may not think the car has anything to do with the internet, but how would you have your computer in your house if you didn't have that car of yours? I'm sure it would be pretty hard to walk 5 miles with a 60 pound Dell box. Mr. Ford was a great man while he was living, and I'm sure he's even more of a great man in his second or even third life after his Ford life here on Earth as a human being. Who knows, in his other life he may have been that muskrat that got hit by a Ford Probe the other day on I-95. Oh the Irony!
Where would we be without cars? We would all be a lot richer and a lot poorer at the same time.
Just think of the amount of problems cars create on the roads. We have roads because of cars. Without cars, there wouldn't be any roads. And if there were no roads, how could there be problems on something that didn't even exist?
Enough of this silliness. Cars are a burden on all of mankind. Every 30 seconds a car is hit by a train on train tracks and people die when that happens. About every 6 seconds a car accident happens and people die when that happens. And a lot of drunk drivers drive drunk behind the wheels of cars - people die when that happens as well.
There is also always a car commercial on TV. Always. I don't think I've ever turned on the TV and not found at least one commercial for a car that can climb up the side of a mountain, or go swimming in an ocean. Have you ever watched TV when you didn't see a car commercial? It's like Communism with a winner; it's not going to happen.
Sure, right now you might be thinking "Well Chris, they're not that bad! The other day when it was raining I got from my house to the bakery and back when I got my muffins when using my Ford Excursion to smash through the quarter inch puddles!". Right. Cars are not that bad. However, SUVs are. Everyday we have to listen to reports that say something to the extent of "The Ocean has risen yet another one hundredth of a centimeter this decade, we're all going to die" and I blame SUVs for me having to listen to that. Half of the people that own them don't even use them for what they were made for. You know, to go "off road" meaning the opposite of "on the road going to pick up Timmy at school" or "Dropping off Mikey at soccer practice". But hey, when you've got that much cash to waste, it's better you waste it then send it to needy webmasters such as myself.
I went too fast. I lost control in the garage.
Let's not forget about the cars that can go around 170 miles an hour. Corvette, Viper, Mustang. They can all approach those speeds, if not go over them - stock. When was the last time you got your car over 85 miles an hour while driving to and from work? Probably never. But you never know when one day you might turn bad and want to run from the police! That extra horse power might help you lose control and wrap you around a telephone pole when you go to "drop the hammer". Yea, yea, all of you guys that say "Those are good cars" have that same problem. You never really use them to their full potential. You don't even take them to the track like you say you do.
You make me sick. And this room is hot due to all of the SUVs!
