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Looking at your calendar, you will notice that there are only a few more days left until it is officially summer here in the northern hemisphere. Sorry. If you live in the southern hemisphere you must now all suffer with the cold weather. And if you live in neither, (IE: On the equator) you must again suffer with the heat from hell.
Moving on, during the summer I like to stay up late. Normally I would use that time to work on something else for this page, but not during the summer. Summer nights are "Me Time" and "Me Time" only. They have no more room for anything else such as eating, sleep, or peeing. The purpose of this precious "Me Time" that I speak so highly of... to calm myself down by going on vacations in my head. That's right. I don't actually go anywhere on vacation during the summer, instead I go places in my mind. (This year I think I'm going to take a ship down to Antarctica where it's cold. I'm taking the trip down there because it is cold, and will cool me down on hot summer nights. I'm also taking a ship because it's dangerous to fly) Sure, you may be thinking "This guy is a total fruit cake" but I kid you not, the next day when I wake up from my "mini me vacation time", I feel refreshed and ready to put in another honest day's work of lifting garbage cans in the hot summer hear. Oh yea, did I mention why I call it "Me Time"? This is because it's Chris' time and not your time, no one interrupts Chris' time!
I know, some of you are now thinking, "I can't do that, people will think I'm nuts!" (That's why I don't tell anyone...) and I have you people covered too. I'm well aware that some of you think that someone somewhere has implanted a bug in your brain that transmits whatever you're thinking of to a central location - I KNOW I THINK THAT! More sane (and less fun) methods must be used for you people. Some of them include going on a plan and going to Puerto Rico to listen to a language you don't even know how to speak, or go across the country to go sight seeing like you are from some other country not in the one you are touring. Let's stay on the more conservative side of things. Let's say that you just got a cut back in your job, Jen wants her belly button pierced, and Jason wants to get a new car. Your budget cannot be good right now, and you want to take a vacation (Not to smart, right?). It would be totally insane to go to Puerto Rico (It's always insane to go there) so instead you have to travel around the country in your car, with gas prices being more than $1.50 in most locations. Where to stop, what to see, what to do? Well no problem, sir!
New Jersey My home state. I have grown up in this state, worked in this state, lived in this state, even gotten sick in this state. So I think I know it quite well - I even pick up the garbage in this state. There are many attractions for you to see, from the miles and miles of coast lines that are now polluted from New York dumping its garbage there, to the endless miles of traffic to get to the polluted beaches. Sure, it's no fun sitting in traffic in a car that has no air conditioning and is about ready to over heat, but once you get there, it's a blast! You can see 300-pound people in bathing suites that are made for 140-pound people, and little kids that remind you of butterball turkeys rolling around in the sand like tumble weed going through a desert while getting your feet burn from the hot sand which has since turned into cigarette ash.  | | See, no traffic |
California Not my home state. I did not grow up here. And I do not live here. But traffic is never a problem here. At least not from what I have seen on TV. Every time I see the streets there, they are almost always clear for some reason. And it's also almost always sunny and hot, so you can also go to the many beaches that they have there and see 300-pound people in bathing suites that were made for 140-pound people, as well as watch over weight butterball children roll in the sand like tumble weed.
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Kansas Still not my home state. I did not grow up here, and I do not live here. Traffic is no problem here as well, and there are only a few roads that are "thru roads" that lead from one end of the state to the other - and they are all empty, straight, and long. Perfect for when you want to test out how fast your car can really go without having to fear hitting an obese child rolling across the street like tumble weed. There is also another advantage that you may like. You don't have to put up with 300-pound people wearing bathing suites that are made for 140-pound people at the beach. There are no beaches there! Ok, who am I kidding, there are lots of lakes and pools there that all the fat people can go to to show off their girth.
Puerto Rico Wait! I just remembered! Puerto Rico is really part of the United States, but is too good to be called that. So you can drive to there too if you'd like, and still be considered "in" the United States since it is a self governed commonwealth! So I take that back, it really isn't insane to go there, now since they're American it doesn't matter
If you're looking for someplace good to go to while driving around the nation, New Jersey is the place to go to first - and last. By far you cannot beat any of these fine roads, and the fine drivers that drive them, you're bound to get a few one finger salutes when driving through the state. It's just our way of saying, "Welcome to New Jersey!"
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