The internet is going down. It's not too much longer now, I can guarantee you. Most of the people on this multi-billion dollar connection of computers and string are goddamned idiots. Oh, yes - it's true. The web is going to collapse under the weight of 20 million thick skulls.

That little segment up there at the top of the page was my interpretation of the NPC dialogue from Diablo II, a game who's only real value seems to be in giving the people who play it carpal tunnel syndrome from the multitudinous hours of clicking. Don't get me wrong - I've got nothing against Diablo II - I've just noticed that the storyline was written by retarded nine year olds.

"Lacerda says: A lot of people use music to help with concentration. Best thing to use, according to most contemporary hackers - Tori Amos."

Would you believe that? If you said yes, you're probably stupid! That has nothing to do with Diablo II, but I've decided I've spent enough time talking about that already. I'm on to other things that are stupid.

"I am glad you dont mother fukking like me because I cant stand your annoying ass! and second I have no interest and having any FORM of FUKKING sex with Him so Mind your own damn buisness"

Did you say that? Or something like it? You're stupid!

Did you make this? Then you're just insane!

Ye gods, how tired I am of sifting through this colossal layer of dumb and crazy that sits on the internet like a giant...dumb...and crazy...thing. Or guy. Or something.

You see what happens? I look at a bunch of stupid crap while writing this article, and then I get stupider as a result. That's just great. I've got work to do tomorrow, and I'm going to be running on 4 hours sleep, and my brain is full of stupid & crazy. Thanks, internet.

Just look at this update! It's a mess! It skips back and forth in tone, there's no flow and - hey, wait a minute. This article is a metaphor for the internet! Yeah, that's it! It's not just poorly written by someone who's really tired and lazy. No! It's actually a clever and insightful poke at the state of being of the world wide web. Yeah! And if you didn't pick up on that, you're just as stupid as everyone else. Ha!

Well, enough of this scatterbrained nonsense, says I! We move on and persevere! I've got a new plan and a new direction, and here it is:

I want you, the readers of this fine website, to email me at Email me your feedback, your comments, your life stories, your hacking tips and questions. You can almost bet I'll be using some of the brilliance you puke into my inbox in updating this site. C'mon! I WANT to hear from you! Isn't that different from real life?

To wit: Send a sleep deprived Lacerda something to read. He's bored, and he has a goatee.