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If you're 12-years-old in the 3rd grade that is. Remember back when you were a little 12-year-old boy (or girl) and you used to brag about how you just got a new comic book, or how you got this new cool doll that just came out in stores that day?  | | Believe it or not, this is supposed to be annoying, just like when someone says "I got a new bike" to you. I hope that did a good job in pissing you off! |
Well, little did you know, you were actually pissing people off when you were doing that. That's the main goal in life - To piss people off, and to get great satisfaction from doing it. Many of us do it everyday in our lives, from saying, "I just downloaded this movie in 40 minutes" to a person on dial up, or even something like "I got these jeans from TJ Max for 55 dollars, marked down from 59 and I'm only going to wear them one time!". You piss people off because it makes you feel better about you, and it's done day in and day out.
There are very few things that one must do in their lifetime because they are human, one being reproduce, and the other - to piss people off. Close study by me, myself, and I has revealed that almost every other thing said by the normal human is meant to piss the other person off, or to simply try and make them jealous.
As usual, here is a list of my finds/conclusions on this entire issue that is oh-so-true that it's not even funny.
I'm going to the Yankee game this Saturday! What the person really means to say when saying this sentence is "I'm going to the Yankee game this Saturday, what is your stupid ass going to do? Sit around like the idiot that you are? I'm going to the Yankee game in the Bronx to see the Yankees play at Yankee Stadium on the field there. I hope you have fun doing nothing loser!" It is clear that the more times the "giver" says the subject in the sentence, the more it is supposed to work. That can also be used to annoy people if you want to just annoy them because you are an annoying person. I got season tickets to Six Flags! What they really mean when they say that group of words is "I've wasted a good amount of money so I can risk my life to have some fun by going really fast on an enclosed track. Maybe if I'm lucky the Jets will recruit me as their punter when I'm there so I can make more money than you will ever make with your education. What are you going to do this summer? Oh, that's right, you're going to work and get money, while I get to waste as much money as I can on 5 dollar hot dogs! DUH!" Again, this can be used to be an annoyance to some people. It all depends on the person. If the person is one that likes to do those things, but does not have the money to waste on such a thing, it will annoy them more than stains on Bill Clinton's suit.
I hit a homerun today in baseball (or softball) What they really want to say to you when they say that sentence, but do not have the guts to do so is, "I was at bat this one time... there were two men on, and the count was 3 balls, 2 strikes... the pitch came and BAM! Right out of the park, a 300 foot monster over the left field wall! I bet your weak as could never do that. You know why you can't do that? Because you're a loser, that's why. You will never be anything when you are grown up, you're going to not be like me, punk" This is only for those that like to feel "macho" and show off their lack of intelligence. To this day I still refuse to get into an argument with someone like that via the internet since they cannot comprehend half of the things that are said to them. Hence, they want to fight a battle with wits, but they are unarmed.
 | | Look! See that pile of money?! I just spent all of that on three items! |
I went to the mall and bought a shirt, CD, and a camera for 130 dollars! Again, what they really want to say to you, and really sincerely mean it with all their heart is, "I went to the mall today with some of my friends, and we walked around for a while, and then I bought all of this stuff. I got to waste over 100 dollars on stuff that I will use for only about a month. What about you? Can you ever do anything like that? NO! That's right, I forgot, you're a normal person with bills and other things to pay for, I don't! My mommy and daddy pay for that stuff for me. I just got this new BMW that has 24 speakers, and it goes boom when the bass hits, it's like totally cool!" Really rub it in there. They can't stop either. You've got to let the other person who you're trying to piss off really feel the heat. You've got to let them whose got all the money. After all, in today's society money is everything. Money can even buy pain!
There are plenty more stupid things that are done by stupid people to make stupid people mad at other stupid people. However, there are far to many iteams to list. It would be silly of me to list something like "Hi!" because the way they said it can piss people off. The bottom line is nobody is really your friend. There are no friends in the real world, all you have is your nearby family. Everyone really doesn't care what you can do, but only what you can do for them. Once they have what they need, they'll leave you because you are of no use to them anymore.
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