I'm really comfortable here in this chair. You think I want to get up just to yell at your dumb ass? I don't want to get off my porch, you damn kids! No! Aw, hell...

HEY! HEY YOU, IN THE CAR! How much did you spend on that car? Yeah, nice civic, how much was it? Uh-huh. And how much was your speaker system there, hm? Oh, more than twice what you spent on the car? Doesn't that strike you as...oh, I don't know...stupid? A car is for driving. Driving from place to place in an efficient manner. If you had all that extra money, why didn't you just buy a better car? Your music is shitty anyway--no one but you wants to hear it thumping around at 175 dB. That's louder than a jet plane, clownsoup! Do you know what time it is? It's 11:30 at night. Yes, when the darkness comes. No, I know your night is just beginning, but some people have to wake up early and go to work. Yeah, strangely they get annoyed at being kept up by what sounds like God farting in the distance. Yes, I am comparing your shitty choice of music to deific flatulence. Why are you thumping your chest and asking if I want a piece? Of course I don't want a piece. When, during my day, have I ever wanted a piece of whatever that's supposed to be? Do I ever walk around going, "Gee, I sure do wish I could touch some greasy idiot. That would be swell."? No, I'm afraid your moron juice would get on my clothes. They're clean. You've heard of this before, yes?

Cleaning? It's really not very hard. You see, you're supposed to have more than one shirt, and you wash them before you wear them again. Hm? Oh, your mom does your laundry, doesn't she? I suppose her loving support has made you into the productive and civil member of society that I see before me today...what? Do I want to "go"? Go where? If the answer is anything but "somewhere you are not", then no, I don't. Hey, you know what I live about civics?
They crumple like tissue paper in collisions.

Well, goodnight...you noisome bastard.

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