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Stupid Questions: Volume 3
Yet again our forum members share questions that they must suffer though while at work, home, or while out and about.
Let's Call Some People "Retarded" E-mail
Written by Chris   
Jan 21, 2006 at 09:07 PM
This is exactly what I don't remember from Freshman year
Growing up as a kid wasn't always easy for me. I remember back in the ninth grade (which is the first year of high school, also known as the "freshman year" for those of you who didn't know, or didn't go to school and are somehow managing to read this now) I would always be made fun of because I couldn't do the math problems on the board. The problem wasn't because I wasn't paying attention in class that year; the problem was that I didn't pay attention when I was in third and fourth grade! I couldn't multiply and divide properly.

Yeah, that's how it would sound like if I really didn't know my multiplication and division, but I do. However, it's not too uncommon with a lot of other kids who, for some reason, decide not to go to school, not to pay attention in school, or pay attention in school and go out to parties listening to music very loud while hitting their heads against a brick wall with nails sticking out of it to ensure they loose as many brain cells as possible. All are factors as to why some kids may not know how to read, write, think, or even wake up in the morning and remember to go to the bathroom in the right place.

If you're like these people, you're most likely going to be made fun of.
Not only do people who don't posses proper mathematic skills get made fun of by people who deem themselves to be super duper extra smart by cheating on some super duper extra smart test that they just took in their Double Extra Honors Advanced Placement Scout's Honor Calculus III class in freshman year of high school, but people get made fun of for just about everything else you can think of simply because as long as people feel good about themselves, nothing else matters. As a general rule of thumb in the work place, view your co-workers as rungs on a ladder, use them to climb higher to the top and be sure to kick a few rungs off so no one can follow you.

As the highly paid professional professional I am thanks to my superior math skills which I acquired by cheating on my SATs back in high school, I decided to take a day off from making large quantities of money to instead sit back and look at what goes on everyday in our world which is done just to inflate our very own egos. I thought it would be pretty interesting to sit back and see the amount of harassing people do in one day towards other people for stupid reasons. By the end of the day, I was shocked with some of the results I got back. You wouldn't believe the amount of mocking that takes place out on the streets, stores, and public restrooms which are in the middle of nowhere for no particular reason what-so-ever.

If your profile looks like this man's profile, you probably get made fun of and laughed at a lot.
Fat People
If you're fat, you probably take the brunt of the mocking throughout the day. For some odd reason, people like to make fun of "over weight" people more than anyone else. It's not your fault that you're fat. The Ham Burglar from McDonald's broke into your house one night while you were sleeping and changed everything you had to eat to a Big N' Tasty or every drink you own to a Triple Thick Milk Shake, therefore forcing you to eat nothing but McDonald's food the next few years of your life. What most people overlook about being "over weight" or "large" is that the only thing, in most cases, that you cannot do is put on your shoes, see your toes, bend over without falling over, only ordering one large fry instead of two, running more than 50 feet without loosing your breath, take up only one seat in the movie theater or on the plane, fit your ass on the bowl properly, pick up the news paper in the morning, fit between the steering wheel and the seat of your car, find the right color tarp to wear today, and various other things that we not-so-fat-people take for granted.

Retarded People
Also known as "Mentally Challenged People" to fool them when talking about them, they're not too far behind fat people when it comes to being mocked. Most of the time, "Mentally Challenged People" can hold normal conversations with people about the next train stop when you're taking the bus to New York City, or if you're when you're talking about going up the steps in the house to get to your room and they start talking about how in the Empire State Building each elevator has exactly 1,607 feet of cable and each cable is made out of another 10 smaller cables which means that there are really 16,070 feet of cable per elevator.

Smart People
Oddly enough, smart people can both be made fun of, and also do the making fun of depending on the surrounding people. If you're smart and you happen to be going to a school full of hoodlems who all don't know what the word "visual" means and you do, you're going to be deemed as weird and then be made fun of. Don't worry if you're one of those people, they'll all be your friend come time for the tests and quizzes. If you're a smart person that goes to school with a lot of other smart people, and there are only a few not-so-smart-people in the crowd, the tables can turn while you and your buddies get to make fun of the other kids who you think don't know what you're talking about, but in reality really do but are just too busy not caring to punch you in your face. This doesn't only apply in school, it happens at Church, in the store, where you work, pretty much all over.

HAHAHAHAHA! I rest my case.
'Different' People
When I use "different" here, I mean people like Goths, white people who like to act like hardcore gangsters who are black, people who try to act like they're a drug king pin, people who think they are from some famous punk band, and generally people who have mental disorders by thinking they are something that they aren't. For obvious reasons, you're going to be made fun of because you're different, and also because you're obviously missing a few major brain cells for even thinking that you are something that you aren't. Maybe when you're under 6-years-old it would be appropriate for you to think you're something else, but not when you're 21-years-old.
The list could grow longer, I'm sure, but I got too tired of looking at fat people all day, so I decided to go home, take a nap, and then type up my results of the study.

My study begins to show that no one is left untouched when it comes to the mocking ring. No matter where you are in the social caste system, you're going to be made fun of one way or another. Even if you are perfect, you're going to be made fun of because no one else is perfect, and therefore you are different, so only if you were no one would you not be made fun of.

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