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 | | This is what happens when you don't use the right wood for your floor or ceiling |
It's been a little more than a year since that horrible day in September. On that day in September, I was awoken by a very loud "boom" in what seemed to be the next room over.
No, I'm not talking about September 11th, I'm talking about September 13. Right now you're most likely asking yourself, "What the hell happened on September 13th?". I'll tell you what happened since there is no way that you'll know what happened then, unless of course you're some weird stalker person who likes to, well... stalk me. September 13th was the day when the floor of my attic caved in, and the ceiling of my room collapsed. It was the day that changed my past memories forever, and it also changed the way that I store things in small areas for the rest of my life, as well as future lives that I may have.
You must also be thinking that my attic caving in, and my ceiling collapsing aren't very important, but to me it is. You have no idea how many years of memories I lost, how many irreplaceable photos and momentums that were in boxes that were stacked sky high. When I woke up to find papers and dust slowing falling to the ground in an untimely manner, I was in total grief and denial that something so barbaric could happen to me and my attic, and my ceiling. But it did. And there was nothing that I could do to change that. I was stuck with a big gaping hole in my attic, and one in my ceiling, which would let me see into the attic from my room, and into my room from the attic. It really was not a good situation.
 | | A picture of Sammy Fats' trunk, minus the booze that filled it. |
Many objects were lost in the great collapse and in the great sinking. Such artifacts like Sammy Fats' Tickle Trunk, Leroy Blood's Brass Elbows, and Cindy Peffer's massive collection of used needles from other people that she liked to keep and sometimes reuse were all severely damaged or totally totaled in the great collapse and in the great sinking. They were not my belongings, however. Mine were a lot better, and a lot harder to replace. I mean, come on! You can find dirty needles anywhere you go, and brass elbows aren't that hard to come across. When was the last time that you had a self-written book that taught you how to hack and "break into ppls' computers"? Yea, that's what I thought. That's only the start of my losses, it goes further than that, and it hits an even more personal level. Those house builders are going to pay!How 2 Hack: A Self Written Teaching Guide
As I said before, not many people can say that they have written a book about something that will then teach the same person who just wrote it, and I am proud to say that I am one of them. I am also proud to say that I survived my ceiling collapse and my attic sinking, and I will go on! The book was literally smashed into several pieces, and then caught on fire after the booze in Sammy Fats' Tickle Trunk leaked out and tangled with one of the two electrical cords I have in my house. The fire left the book in total ruins, and I am still looking for another one in the city. I know I know how to hack, but that was a long time ago, and I'm not quite sure if I remember everything. I might have forgotten some stuff... like how to ping, exit DOS by typing "exit", or even re-installing the l33t operating system Windows. I kid you not! I can hack!
Laughing Battery
Wondering why I don't write as much as I used to, and why I haven't written something in almost 2 weeks? Well thanks to that horrendous collapse and sinking, my prized laughing battery was crushed after the fire ate away at one of the pillars holding up what was left of the attic floor/room ceiling. I must say, Sammy Fats' Tickle Trunk filled with booze was the real killer in this entire ordeal. If it were not for that, there would have never been a fire that ate away at the last pillar, there would have been no pillar to fall on my laughing battery, and there would be energy to make myself laugh, unlike now where I am not laughing at nothing. I tried going out to Best Buy to get a new 9 volt rechargeable battery to see if it would do the job, but when I got to Best Buy, the floor salesman said that they did not have it, but they did have a nice 120 dollars car battery that might help me out, and if I wanted to, I could pay an extra 29 dollars a month (or about one dollar a day) to make sure that nothing would go wrong with it, or it would not suddenly burst into flames because it was possessed by goblins or some other weird creature that doesn't exist.
 | | This is only one of the reasons why animal control was called. You don't want to see the others. |
Fluffy the Freeze Dried Chimp
As strange as it may sound, I had Fluffy freeze dried when I heard that he had toe cancer and had a 99 per cent chance of living through it. I didn't want to take a chance, so I preserved his body and life by freeze drying him, and then placing his chamber in my attic where I thought it would be safe. Much to my surprise, it was safe for a few years, but without warning the attic's floor caved in, and my ceiling collapsed. He and his chamber would have been fine, it actually survived the initial 8 foot drop, but like I said, Sammy Fats' Tickle Trunk filled with booze that tangled with power lines created fire. As you know, fire is hot, and ice is cool. The fire proved to be too hot for the ice, and it melted it, waking Fluffy. I tried to calm him down when he woke up, but he didn't recognize me and continued to make weird noises and jump up and down. At that point I was sacred of another collapse that I left the room and house all together and called the animal control stating that I had a chimp with deadly toe cancer on the loose. Needless to say, the animal control people were not too pleased with me keeping a chimp freeze dried in my attic for several years without the proper permit. The entire thing could have been a lot worse than it really was, but thanks to my floor and my basement's ceiling being so strong, they didn't collapse, possibly destroying even more of the momentums I have stored down there. Ply wood is a great thing.
I know that no matter what I do, I will not be able to have my hacking book back, I will not be able to have my laughing battery back, and I will not be able to have Fluffy the Freeze Dried Chimp back. No matter how much I cry, or no matter how many times I write about it, they will never be back. But after all, they were not people that were destroyed. It could have been a whole heck of a lot worse if it collapsed on me, or someone else.
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